| | How to Ruin A Relationship in Two Easy Steps!
Last week a girl stopped by my office to share some boy drama. I generally discourage such discussions in the work place, especially with someone I don't know very well, but she had some drama and I made an exception. During our conversation she mentioned that she met a man who she really liked, but there were two problems -- 1) he wears socks with sandals (a deal breaker in my book, unfortunately) and 2) she thinks he is ugly. She showed me his picture and unless I have poor taste in men (and with the exception of Michael Phelps, I don't believe I do), he wasn't ugly at all, but I reserved judgment until I saw him in person.
The next day I saw them walking through a hallway in our building and I made sure to get a good look at his definitely not ugly face. A couple of hours later she found me in the hallway and asked if I had seen him earlier. I told her that I had and then added, "And he is not ugly. Why did you say he is ugly? He isn't ugly at all!" A strange look crossed her face and she chuckled and glanced at the bathroom and back at me and then whispered, "Um... uh, he's right there in the bathroom." The bathroom next to which I was standing. The bathroom from which you can hear what is going on in the hall, including conversations during which you learn that your girlfriend thinks you are ugly because her stupid friend can't keep her mouth shut.
Kill me now.
On Friday I was eating lunch in the break room and the girl showed up and immediately burst into tears, explaining that she broke up with him that morning and she felt horrible about it. There were several people in the room and we all discussed the break up and tried to give her advice and make her feel better. Several minutes later she pulled out her Blackberry and I said, "Oh! I'm thinking about getting one of those, can I see it?" She handed the phone to me and I took a look at it and right when I was reaching out to hand it back to her, my finger touched a button on the side of the phone and the screen lit up. I glanced at the screen and, to my horror, it said the ex-boyfriend's name! I screamed and threw the phone at her and she ended whatever was going on and then she shouted, "YOU CALLED HIM! YOU JUST CALLED HIM! OH MY GOD!!!"
I died right then and there.
The girl asked what I pressed and when I explained to her what happened, she pressed the button and called him again!! Everyone in the break room screamed. EVERYONE. We screamed so loudly that a coworker down the hall came running to see what had happened and, upon learning that I called her ex-boyfriend, said, "Ooooh, that's bad. That's really bad." Thanks. Thank you.
I am never going back to work again.
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| | Posted 9/8/2008 10:42 PM - 23 Views - 6 eProps - 3 comments
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